Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Unmet Needs in Marriage

"It is very tempting to justify demands by thinking of them as needs and then to punish one another if those needs are not satisfied.  A needs-based marriage does not testify to God's glory; it is focused on personal demands competing for supremacy.  Two people, preoccupied with manipulating each other to meet needs, can drive their marriage down the path of 'irreconcilable differences.'  This is cultural language that simply acknowledges that a marriage can no longer carry the weight of demands understood as needs... The saddest part of driving down the road of unmet needs is where we end up... nowhere.  It is a forlorn, one-lane stretch of me.  All it leads to is more of me.  It's worse than a dead end--it's a circle that never ends."

from When Sinners say, "I Do", by Dave Harvey  (focus mine)

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